I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
