Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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