could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
