If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
