my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
someone threw a dead crab at me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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