Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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