Having a random hookup so left but love u
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
