38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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