I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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