i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
