I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize