If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
