I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sorry about my life...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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