Nicole vs. Life
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
