How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
