Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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