Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
