Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
