I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
