Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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