I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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