Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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