I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
