Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
