Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
