did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
