It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
