so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
