I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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