is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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