at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i barfeds in our rink
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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