She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
