i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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