apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
