after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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