i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
