We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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