So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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