Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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