I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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