went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So much rum. So many feels.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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