I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
