So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
