I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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