I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
