who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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