you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
