lets start a swedish sibling band together
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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