He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
