We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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