I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize