Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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