69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
