What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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