I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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