FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
