I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
