woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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