Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
