i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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