If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
