Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
