awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
