Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
